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M's Silva: God's Making Me Suck

M's Silva: God's Making Me Suck
May 8, 2009 (Gothamist delivered by Newstex ) --

Mariners starting pitcher Carlos Silva has been atrocious this season. His sinker has about as much dip as a Mormon grocery, and he's exhibited all the pinpoint control of your average Qwest Field urinal user. But, according to Silva, who's in the second year of a four-year $48 million contract, empirical evidence alone cannot explain his incompetence. A higher power is at work.

As Silva told reporters after his awful start Wednesday: "Why is light given to a man whose way is hid, and whom God hath hedged in?"

No, sorry, that wasn't Carlos Silva, that was Job.

Here's what Carlos Silva told reporters after his awful start Wednesday: "I was sitting in my chair and the only thing that I was thinking is that I'm having a big test right now from God."

Hey, God? It's us, Seattlest. If getting paid an $11 million salary to do 45 minutes of terrible work every five days is Your idea of a test, let us say that our number two pencil is sharpened and we have all the scratch paper we need.

Sorry, that was a cheap shot. We're being totally unfair to Mr. Silva. Like any professional, he wants to earn his pay. And he's probably headed up to heaven no matter what--he's set up charitable foundations for needy children in three countries. It's just that he's apparently out of explanations for why he's compiled the worst ERA of any starting pitcher in Baseball.

The Mariners think Silva's problems are mental, not physical. That he's putting too much pressure on himself after going 4-15 last season.

Whatever the cause--physical, mental, Providential--M's manager Don Wakamatsu can't keep surrendering every fifth game by starting Silva.

The M's will likely do one of three things:

1) Put Silva in the bullpen as the mop up reliever and use him only in non-pressure situations. (But, as last Sunday's 15-inning game proved, sometimes the last guy in the 'pen gets the most pressure.)

2) Invent some phony injury for Silva, put him on the disabled list, and let him work out his problems on the side. (But Silva says he throws well in warmups, just not in games.)

3) Send Silva to the minor leagues to drive some lesser city's fans crazy. (But Silva would have to consent, and seeing how the guy reportedly has a special clause in his contract ensuring that he gets his own hotel suite on road trips, we don't see him wanting to go from chartered jets and room service to coach travel and the Denny's off the lobby.)

Then there's the less-likely "nuclear" option: cut Silva. Problem is, MLB contracts are fully guaranteed. The M's will have to continue paying Silva's salary--$11 million this year, $11.5 million each of the next two--whether they pitch him, cut him, or make him history's highest-paid cotton candy vendor.

So while it would be cathartic to eliminate yet another reminder of the Bavasi era--we like the idea of cutting Miguel Batista at the same time and having a region-wide day of feasting and parades--it just doesn't seem practical.

We mean, if you bought a house at the peak of the market, and you got way underwater as the economy tanked, would you just give up on the place? Probably not.

Then again, if the toilet backed up every five days...

The M's will decide what to do about Silva shortly. Meanwhile, the rest of us can pray that God chooses us as His next "victim."

Newstex ID: 34772413

Author:Fox Sports
Author's Website:
Added: May 8, 2009

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